In Greyscale
by lunalibera
Summary: The Marauders and Lily trudge through Year Seven at Hogwarts, besieged and beleaguered by a war that cannot be held at bay for much longer. Somewhere along the way, they all realize the world isn't split into black and white. ABANDONED
1. Chapter 1

_His mother heaving, gasping for breath, choking on the blood she was coughing up…the last terrifying rattle as her lungs finally gave out…her dead, unseeing eyes—his eyes-hazel and sparkling with life, now so empty in death…his father's body, brought home by the aurors…the whispers of how he threw himself into the crossfire, as if he had nothing left to live for…_

James woke with a cry, covered in sweat, shaking uncontrollably. It was the same every night, he could not stop reliving their deaths, could not stop the images from flashing in front of him each time he closed his eyes. Days were much the same, except then he was surrounded by the memories of their life, alone in the ancient manor, as he trailed aimlessly from room to room, desperately trying to push away the oppressive gloom that cloaked him and threatened to pull him under. His only recourse, really, was flying—up in the air he could leave everything else behind, become one with the wind, and _live_, just _live_ without the specter of his parents' deaths haunting his every breath.

It was times like this that James wished Sirius still lived with him, but Sirius had moved out as soon as Sixth Year ended, claiming he couldn't bear to live on charity. James had wanted to punch him for saying that, had wanted to remind him they were _brothers_ and there could be no question of _charity_ between the two of them, but he understood that this was something Sirius needed. Of course, Sirius had been by his side throughout the ordeal with his mother, and had apparated to his house immediately when James's father was brought in, but James missed Sirius's loudness and irrepressible energy in the stillness of the manor.

James dragged himself out of bed, brushed his teeth and headed downstairs to the wonderful smell of bacon being fried.

"Good morning, Master Jamesie," squeaked a wrinkled old house elf who barely came up to James's waist, but made utterly delectable food all the same.

"Morning, Tibby," James said, giving a half-smile to the affectionate creature who'd been around all his life. He tucked into his breakfast, shoveling bacon into his mouth until the arrival of an owl through the open kitchen window interrupted him. James relieved the owl of the rather heavy missive it was carrying and watched as it flew away at once.

James glanced at the familiar heavy parchment and emblem of the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, wondering idly whether he could get all the Marauders to go together to Diagon Alley to pick up their school books. A loud pop interrupted his musings, and the grinning face of his best friend appeared in front of him.

"Hey Padfoot," James said, watching his friend steal the rest of his breakfast.

"Prongs," Sirius said, through a mouthful of bacon, nodding at James. With an enormous swallow, he continued, "Got your Hogwarts letter? What do you say to a trip down to old Diagon with Messieurs Moony and Wormtail?"

"You read my mind, Padfoot," James said, grinning reluctantly. He reached over to open up the envelope, noting that it was heavier than usual. As he pulled out his letter, school materials list and Quidditch Captain badge, a second badge fell onto the floor with a clatter. He picked it up and stared at it incredulously, tracing the HB inscribed on it. _Head Boy?_ With a snort of annoyance, he chucked the badge at Sirius, who ducked just in time.

"Really, mate? Head Boy? You're going to have to try a lot harder than that," James said, scowling at Sirius's blank face.

Sirius slowly picked up the badge from where it lay on the floor, his eyes widening comically and his mouth dropping open. He gaped at James, who frowned back at him.

"Wasn't me, mate, you know I could never meddle with anything of Dumbledore's…old codger must have had one too many of Ogden's Finest," Sirius said, starting to laugh as the hilarity of the situation hit him. "Check and see if there's a letter, maybe he went and made Snivellus Head Girl," he sniggered.

Still not quite believing Sirius wasn't having him off, James opened the familiar Hogwarts start of the year letter.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment for your seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please also note that you will continue as Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and will be expected to hold try-outs in the first week of term. _

_Furthermore, congratulations are in order for your appointment as Head Boy this year. The Head Students position is the most prestigious in the school and is awarded to the most promising male and female student of the school. The Head Boy and Girl are expected to undertake this mantle of responsibility whilst working in close cooperation with one another, setting an example for all students and representing the Hogwarts student body. Any abuse of power will therefore be severely punished and result in your badge being revoked._

_You are asked to conduct the Prefects meeting in the designated compartment on the Hogwarts Express, after which you will report to Professor Dumbledore and I at school for further instructions._

_Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall,_

_Deputy Headmistress_

Sirius, who had been reading over James's shoulder, let out a great big guffaw, reading out bits and pieces of the letter in an incredulous voice: "_Mantle of responsibility? Most promising student?_ Can you imagine the effort it must have cost old Minnie to write that out right under _your_ name? Bet Dumbledore just wanted to see her mouth contort the way it did when we slipped that constipation potion in her pumpkin juice again."

James chuckled at that. _Oh, good times_, he mused. Then he started. "Hey, it didn't say who the Head Girl was!" he said, but Sirius was too busy mimicking McGonagall's favorite facial expressions to take notice. Just then another owl swept through the window, this time skidding in James's (now Sirius's) cornflakes. At this, Sirius let out a shout of indignation, but James shushed him.

"Look, it's Remus's mum's owl. Wonder if Remus got his letter too," James said, unrolling the parchment, "Let's see…"

_Dear James, and Padfoot if you're there, which you probably are,_

_Got your letters yet? Glad Dumbledore didn't pin Head Boy on me, I practically begged McGonagall end of last term to spare me, these last two years feeling guilty about every prank we (or you two, mostly) played were bad enough. Wonder which poor old sod will get his bed infested with lice this year. Remember McLaggen and the time you two lined all his boxers with Wartcap powder? _

_Anyway, Prongs, Lily owled me just a couple minutes ago, she got Head Girl, as expected of course. She was wondering if I got Head Boy. Thought you might like to know. _

_When are you two heading down to London to pick up your things? If you're free this Friday, we could go together. Let me know and I'll owl Wormtail. Should cheer him up, he's been a right downer since Mary broke up with him._

_Yours,_

_Moony_

Only one part of the letter really registered for James, however. He turned slowly to Sirius, his mouth comically hanging open, and croaked, "She's going to kill me, Padfoot. I'm a goner."


	2. Chapter 2

Lily stalked through the barrier to Platform Nine and Three Quarters in high dudgeon, her eyes sparking dangerously as she muttered furiously under her breath, "I'll give her freak, stupid emaciated little twig gallivanting off with an absolute whale of a mustached moron, going on and on about how perfect her boring little tea party world is. Should have just turned dear old _Vernon_ into a pig, then we'd see who's the loser."

Hacked off at her older sister as she was, Lily didn't quite take in her surroundings at first, which was a pity, she supposed, because it was her last time going to school after all. She breathed in the rather sooty air of the platform, reveling in the cacophony, and calmed down at last. _She was going home._

Still, Lily couldn't help but notice that the platform wasn't as boisterous as usual; people were keeping more to themselves, it seemed, and she wondered if it were just her or if there really were fewer students milling about than usual. It made her feel slightly uneasy, what with all the nasty disappearances plastered across the Daily Prophet getting all the more frequent and the ominous threat of a rising of dark wizards lurking everywhere these days, Lily wasn't sure her last year would be as idyllic as she would have liked it to be.

Lily set off smartly towards the train nevertheless, wanting to reach the Prefects compartment before the others got there. Hopefully the Head Boy would get there early as well so that they could plan out what they were going to say to the Prefects. She ran through the possible candidates in her head again, it wasn't Remus, unfortunately, he'd replied in the negative to her owl over the summer, so it had to be Davies, Bones or god forbid, Avery, the Slytherin prefect. With some trepidation, she slid open the door to the compartment, only to see a rather unwelcome someone already inside.

"Potter," Lily said, tersely, narrowing her eyes at him, "What are you doing here?" While Potter was definitely not her least favorite person in all of Hogwarts anymore, she was still highly suspicious of his presence, and for good reason. For all of fifth and most of sixth year, he'd asked her out incessantly, with the arrogant, spoiled rich boy air of someone who's always gotten what they want. It was true that he'd stopped hexing people for the heck of it sometime after Christmas break last year, and he'd gotten less obnoxious around her, but he and his friends were constantly up to some silly and often hurtful prank that would wreak havoc in the school corridors, making more work for the prefects. They'd stopped having their colorful and highly volatile public shouting matches a while back, but they weren't exactly on first-name terms, and Lily had never really seen reason to change that status.

James looked up at Lily, before quickly looking away again. She was as beautiful as ever, with her deep red hair and striking green eyes. It still made his heart ache a little bit that she wouldn't give him the time of day, but recent events had thrown that particular problem into perspective. The whole saga of doing everything to impress her and making a fool of himself in the process seemed like it belonged to another lifetime. He reached into his pocket and held out his Head Boy badge to her, silently, waiting to see her reaction.

"What's this?" Lily snapped, taking a look at what he was holding out, her insides twisting a bit already—it couldn't be, it just couldn't be—her eyes popping out when she recognized a badge very similar to the one pinned to her own robes. She scoffed then, and said, "Who did you take that from, Potter? Don't make me take points from my own house, before term even starts. I don't have time for your nonsense this year, it's NEWT year and I need those grades, unlike you. Don't spoil it for me."

"I wasn't planning on doing anything of the sort," James said, sighing, "Dumbledore really did make me Head Boy. Got it with my letter and everything. Barking mad, but there you have it."

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking rather like a goldfish, albeit a very beautiful one in James's eyes. Inside, she felt her twisting insides settle and turn into lead. She had _worked_ for this position, worked _so hard_, been a model student with perfect grades and not a single skived class or after-hours adventure, and there he sat, prankster and bully extraordinaire, with an entire _fortune_ to his name and over a hundred detentions to boot, hardly ever doing any schoolwork, spending all his time on his bloody broomstick or attached at the hip to Sirius Black. What did he know about hard work? What did he, a pureblood, know how hard it was to prove one's self at Hogwarts, to negate all the snide remarks about her muggleborn origin and consequent lack of talent? What did he know about responsibility and duty, and oh Merlin, anything at all? _Head Boy?_

And suddenly, Lily couldn't hold it all in any longer. She'd never been one to mince words after all. "Who the _hell_ do you think you are, Potter, lounging there like you own this bloody place? Oh I forgot, you probably do own it, don't you? What did your parents do, bribe and blackmail Dumbledore till he gave you the badge, all so you could lord about more than you usually do? Mummy couldn't stand the idea of her son being second best to poor, kind-hearted Remus? _Do you exist to ruin my life and everything that's important to me?"_ she shrieked, well aware that she was being slightly harsh, and yet unable to stop herself.

James had flinched at the mention of his parents, and screwed up his face in anguish before hot, seething anger took the place of the grief that weighed him down constantly. He drew himself to his full height, before replying in a low voice that shook all the same, "My parents couldn't have bought me this badge, you see, Evans, because they happen to be _dead_. _Mummy_ won't ever see me as Head Boy because she's six feet under. I don't want this badge any more than you want me to have it, but I reckoned if Dumbledore asked me to be Head Boy, he'd have had his reasons, and I'd do my best to live up to it. But if me being Head Boy shatters your perfect little world, Evans, I'd be glad to hand this damn thing in. In fact, here, you can do it for me." At that, James thrust his badge into Lily's hands and strode out the door, brushing past Remus and the other prefects crowding near the compartment door.

Trying desperately to ward off the overwhelming misery, James nearly jogged to the Marauders' usual compartment near the back of the train. Only Peter was inside, he noted, with relief. Sirius must have been off to get his customary welcome-back snog from one of his numerous female admirers. Barely muttering a greeting to Peter, James reached for a vial of potion in his trunk.

"What are you doing?" Peter asked nervously, knowing full well he couldn't stop James from doing exactly as he liked, "You're not taking that Dreamless Sleep potion again, are you? You know Moony…"

"Do me a favor and lay off, Wormtail, I don't need you three harping at me all the time. And don't tell the others," James snapped, irate. He downed the potion in one gulp and lay down on the seat, his mother's dead eyes staring back at him for a moment until sleep overcame him.

Back in the Prefects' compartment, Lily sank into her seat, stunned by James's reply. She had never imagined she was hitting so beneath the belt with her little diatribe, and her insides were roiling again, this time with guilt, as she clutched the HB badge in her hand. She was shaken out of her trance as the prefects filed in, looking expectantly at her. Suddenly very nervous, she started her carefully prepared speech.

At the end of the meeting, Lily walked up to Remus, who for once didn't look his usual amicable self. Red-faced, Lily tried to explain to him that she hadn't known, how could she have known, after all, when he interrupted, rather sharply.

"Don't you think you were far too harsh on him regardless, Lily?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrow.

Lily stared at the floor, thoroughly ashamed of herself—she was always kind to everyone, everyone that is, except Potter and Black, and she would never have said anything so hurtful had it _not_ been Potter. She looked despairingly at Remus and said, in a small voice, "What do I do now?"

Remus's face softened slightly, though he was still frowning. "Well, you apologize, of course. I just hope he's ready to hear it. See you around, Lily," he said, and he was off.

Lily trailed off to find her own friends, trying to figure out what she could possibly say to apologize adequately to Potter, without being completely dishonest.

When Peter shook James awake as the train pulled into Hogsmeade, something fell to the ground with a familiar clatter. Reaching blearily for his glasses, James looked darkly at the Head Boy badge and the piece of parchment tucked under it, which read

_I'm terribly sorry. Please don't turn in the badge. –L.E._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Filler chapter, or half-chapter, really, meant to include the meeting with Dumbledore in this but got a bit worn out and decided to post what I'd written so far anyway.**

Lily walked into the Great Hall with some trepidation, scanning the Gryffindor table for Potter's unruly hair so she could duck and sink deep into the ground and never have to face him again. Fortunately, he was nowhere to be seen.

Emmeline elbowed Lily rather roughly and hissed, "You did apologize, didn't you, Lily? You didn't just chicken out, right? I don't see him anywhere…Merlin, Lily, did you have to be such a bitch?"

Lily flushed and replied in an equally virulent tone, "I _tried_ to apologize, Em, I did, I went into that horrible compartment that's probably been christened by mass orgies several times over, but the git was _asleep_. I left him a note, alright? And for the last time, _I didn't know._"

"Fine," Emmeline huffed, "But you're going to have to apologize properly, in person, whenever Potter does show up. Oh look, there come the bleeding firsties. Wonder which one will trip over its tiny little feet this time."

Lily glared at her friend pointedly, remembering quite vividly who had tripped on her way to the Sorting Hat in her first year, but couldn't say anything back as the Sorting Hat belched out its newest concoction of house propaganda.

As the sorting continued, Lily felt someone's eyes boring holes in the side of her head, and looked around to see Sirius Black glowering at her like he was planning her slow and painful death, which he probably was, knowing Black. She gulped; no doubt Remus had told Black all about her diatribe this morning. Now she was really in for it.

After the first course disappeared, Professor McGonagall made her way over to where Lily was toying with her food in disgruntled silence. The professor cleared her throat, making Lily jump a little and then straighten smartly when she saw who it was.

"Ms. Evans. You will accompany Mr. Potter to the Headmaster's office after the feast for instructions regarding your appointment. The password is Jelly Beans. Tomorrow morning you will receive further instructions from me when I hand out your class schedules," McGonagall said in a clipped tone, and walked away, her back ramrod straight.

Eying the Professor's posture with envy, Lily finished the last bit of pudding left on her plate and then set off glumly, hoping Potter was hanging around somewhere nearby. She made sure to ask Emmeline to remind Remus to guide the first years to their dormitories, and then left the hall reluctantly.

James watched Lily stumble out of the Great Hall, looking around uncertainly, no doubt searching for him. He slumped a little against the banister, unsure if he was ready for another encounter with the fiery red head, and even more unsure of his decision to keep the Head Boy badge. But as Lily caught sight of him and walked hesitantly up to him, he didn't have much choice but to go along with the situation.

Lily really had no idea what she was going to say, but the sight of Potter's pale, almost gaunt face made her want to give him a hug and tell him it would be alright. She sat down next to him, gathering her thoughts for a moment before saying, "Potter—no, James—might as well call you by your first name since we _are _supposed to work together all year after all—I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I was way out of line back there on the train, and I don't expect you to accept this apology straight away, but I wanted to tell you that I didn't mean what I said. I just…you've always…I was just so jealous of you, I couldn't think straight!" Lily said in a rush, before taking a deep breath and continuing, "you, you seem to get everything you want so easily, without any effort, and sometimes I just wish I had half of your intelligence so I didn't have to work my arse off all the time to get the grades you get without lifting a finger. And it's not true, what I said about you lording about the castle…it hasn't been true for almost a year, and you _have_ grown up, I just…it's easier to hate you than admit that I do envy you, very, very much," Lily finished, looking expectantly up at James.

"Evans," James said, and Lily's face fell a bit when he used her surname, "Let it be. Don't we have to go see Dumbledore and understand exactly how to poke out our eyes with a quill from boredom while killjoy prefects drone on and on about the sacredness of rules and regulations?"

Lily stiffened a bit, but realized that James's biting sarcasm wasn't really directed towards her, and got up, saying, "I haven't the slightest idea where his office is, though. You must know, you've been there a fair few times, haven't you?" She smiled a bit at him to take the edge off her words, and he bowed pompously and said, "Follow my lead, my lady. Head Marauder at your service."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: I know that a separate Heads' dorm is never specified in the books, but it seems plausible enough, given the Prefects' bathroom—if Prefects get a special bathroom, I figure the Heads deserve their own dorm. The story might seem a bit slow moving at present; I'm a bit frustrated myself at how long it's taking to the parts I really want to write too. Hopefully I'll wangle in a bit more LJ action soon. Also, thank you Lovepadfoot, for your kind words. More reviews would be nice too, though the subscriptions are definitely heartening. *hint hint* Thanks for reading, first fanfic here.**

As James watched Lily roll her eyes at his dramatics, he tried to comprehend what she had just said to him. _Lily Evans? Jealous? Of him?_ He felt lighter than he had felt in a long time—perhaps she wasn't as immune to his charms as she pretended to be. _Or maybe she was just being nice because she felt guilty and it definitely wasn't anything near a proclamation of undying love, _another thought voiced itself, sounding suspiciously like Remus.

"Jelly Beans," Lily said to the stern looking gargoyles guarding what she presumed was the entrance to Dumbledore's office. To her great surprise, a spiral staircase of an escalator presented itself behind the gargoyles, and as she and Potter stepped onto it, it led them up to a door with a griffin shaped knocker. Lily suddenly felt slightly apprehensive. The Headmaster's twinkling blue eyes might be very kind and genial from a distance, but she had never really had a private talk with him.

However, all apprehension flew out the window once the two stepped into the office, wonder taking its place instead, at least in Lily's case. James had been there far too often, and usually for unsavory reasons, to feel any sense of awe for the quarters, though he privately enjoyed watching the sleep-feigning antics of the portraits of previous headmasters and headmistresses while avoiding the current headmaster's piercing gaze. Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix familiar looked rather bedraggled at the moment, probably nearing its burning day.

Dumbledore was seated at his desk, hands joined at the fingertips in his characteristic way, surveying the new Heads before asking them to sit down. As he began to speak, James noticed uncomfortably that the usually energetic Headmaster looked older and wearier.

"Welcome, Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter. Congratulations on your appointment as head students! I assure you that your appointment was fully deserved and based on your highly commendable merits, if complementary in nature at first glance. Ms. Evans, your kindness and sense of justice will be more and more needed as our times grow more violent, while your valiance and loyalty, Mr. Potter, has always made you a natural leader," Dumbledore began.

"I'm afraid that the rumors concerning a certain Lord Voldemort are indeed true," Dumbledore continued, gravely, though his eyes had twinkled as he caught the pair sitting in front of him blushing slightly at his praise, "and it is more important than ever that we stand united in the threat of such darkness. Hogwarts has unfortunately been the breeding grounds of much discrimination and prejudice, but it has at times also succeeded in providing a place where students can truly belong, thereby setting them on the right path." Here Dumbledore looked at James, who understood him to be referring to Sirius. "I am fully aware, I assure you, of the false perceptions of the lines of battle being firmly in place between those of a certain house and those of the remaining houses. However, the both of you would do well to remember that nothing in this world is so cleanly split into black and white. In fact, times of conflict have always decidedly been shaded in greyscale…" Dumbledore trailed off, heaving a great sigh.

"I have great faith in the pair of you, and I trust that you shall find it in you to work together despite any previous…disagreements," Dumbledore said, apparently coming back to earth, and then, looking slightly more cheerful, "Well, that's enough solemnity for one night, it's certainly no way to start your last year at Hogwarts! If you'll follow me, I shall lead you to the Heads' rooms, where, if everything is to your satisfaction, I shall bid you goodnight." With that Dumbledore stood up gracefully and ushered them out of his office.

Lily's insides were slowly congealing into lead again, and it wasn't just because of the excellent pot roast at the feast that night. How could she have forgotten about the Heads _living _together? How could she ever manage to make it through an entire year without dismembering and then killing Potter each time she caught him stealing her underwear? _Well, alright, she was just being dramatic again, that _was _only once, and back in fourth year, too, on a dare from Black, but still! Poisonous toadstools never change their spots, newfound maturity or not!_

Caught up as she was in her inner musings, Lily didn't notice that they had arrived and nearly ran into the Headmaster. Catching Potter's smirk, she scowled at him, and looked up just to see Dumbledore twinkling his eyes at them again. Lily decided she didn't really like that particular expression of Dumbledore's anymore.

"The password for the first two weeks of term will be _Patronus_, after which you may select your own, notifying Professor McGonagall of the change without fail each time," Dumbledore said. The portrait of Merlin swung open and Dumbledore gestured for them to step in.

The common room was smaller than that of Gryffindor, as it was meant just for the Head students, and had a glorious view of the Black Lake, the Forbidden Forest and Hagrid's hut near the Forest's edge. The ledge underneath the large vaulted windows seemed like an ideal reading place, Lily noted happily, and there were a pair of squashy armchairs and plenty of cushions around the fireplace, a large sofa, a couple of writing desks, a coffee table, and best of all, a hammock right under a skylight glinting moonlight into the cozy room.

It was certainly everything James could have asked for, but he found himself half-wishing he was still with the rest of the Marauders, plotting hell for the first day of classes after hexing anyone who had dared to sit in the Marauders' chair near the fireplace. As Dumbledore bid them goodnight, he also felt slightly discomfited alone in Lily's presence, however much he had dreamed of an opportunity to spend some alone time together with her in the past.

A glance in Lily's direction showed her to be feeling at least as awkward as James felt, and she chewed her lip before muttering a hasty goodnight in his direction and disappearing behind a door with _Lily Evans _engraved on it in neat cursive, reminiscent of the girl's own handwriting. He headed off to the door with his own name scrawled in large unruly letters on it, barely taking in the room before he collapsed on the bed, not bothering to change into his bedclothes, and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **So I'm not sure if I'm doing a great job with the point-of-view changes, and I also feel as if I'm going out of character with the dialogue, which already doesn't get across exactly what I'm trying for anyway. If someone has some useful tips and pointers?

James had blearily woken up, trying to get his bearings as he registered he was in an unfamiliar room, but a room that felt curiously home-like for all its unfamiliarity—and had realized he only had about fifteen minutes to get ready. Which was why he was still buttoning up his shirt and tucking it in while trying to simultaneously comb his hair with his fingers (failing laughably) and put on his tie when he heard a familiar voice call after him:

"Morning Potter!"

"Morning, Evans," James replied to a way-too-cheerful-looking-for-that-time-of-morning-on-first-day-of-classes Lily.

Lily peered at him in a slightly unsettling way before asking rather abruptly, "Potter, did you have nightmares last night?"

James stalled, not quite wanting to answer the question, saying instead, "I thought you were going to call me James now, since I _am _Head Boy to your Head Girl, so to speak?"

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, but you called me Evans, and it would just be odd to call you by your first name if you call me by my surname. And don't give me that 'Head Boy to your Head Girl' rubbish, it sounds suspiciously…"

"Sexual?" James cut in, looking highly amused, "Well, you know, _head_ and all…"

"Shut up, Potter, I was going to say familiar…"

"Which is of course _so _very different…"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Potter…"

"Because yours is so far out if it…"

"Oh, bloody hell Potter, familiar is _not_ the same thing as _sexual,_ far from it; do I really have to explain it to you?"

"I'd be happy for you to give me a practical demonstration, Evans, but if you'll excuse me, I'm famished and that bacon right over there looks particularly delectable. See you around, Evans."

Lily nearly took out her wand and hexed James right there, but as she fumed she realized the git had rather skillfully avoided her question. Sighing, (it seemed she did that a lot around Potter), she slid in next to Emmeline and started buttering a piece of toast.

"Looks like someone's got her knickers in a twist this morning. How was it sleeping all on your lonesome with Potter right across from your room? You two sharing a bathroom too? Did you walk in and see him starkers, is that what's got you all _hot and bothered?_" Emmeline said, smirking evilly at Lily.

Lily gagged on her piece of toast, shooting Emmeline her patented death glare, before saying with as dignity as she could muster, "No, we do _not_ share a bathroom, thank goodness for that. And I'm _not _'hot and bothered' either."

Emmeline looked at Lily shrewdly and said, "No, that's just your James Potter-got-under-my-skin look. It's funny how he does that to you every time, Lily."

Lily did a repeat performance of her death glare before saying through her mouthful of toast, "I do _not_ have a James Potter look, Emmeline."

Emmeline just raised her eyes in a superior sort of wait-and-see (and altogether maddening) way, before the arrival of Professor McGonagall stopped Lily's surreptitious schemes to stab her best friend's eyeballs with her fork.

Lily didn't get time to speak to Potter again before late evening when they were both looking over the Prefects' patrol schedule in the Heads' common room.

"So, Potter, I was saying, this morning," and before Potter could interrupt her with hints about the 'practical demonstration' they'd supposedly discussed in the morning, Lily rushed on, "Did you have nightmares last night?" She wasn't quite sure why she was pressing him for answers, knowing it was a personal question and really none of her business, but still wanting to know.

Potter looked away from Lily, eyes settling on the fireplace instead, and Lily said gently, "You know you can talk to me about it. It might help, especially because we're not really close and I-I didn't know them. I've heard talking to strangers can be liberating, almost."

When he didn't say anything for a while, Lily went back to scrawling out the schedule, until—"First day of term, I'd always get an owl from home. Every single time. I'd always have forgotten something or the other, and Mum would always send it over with Icarus, telling me how much she already missed me, even though it would only have been a day or so since I saw her last. I…I just can't stop thinking about how I left my favorite jumper back home and how there won't be an owl…I always laughed at Mum for saying she missed me, but now I just wish I could tell her just how much I miss her, all the time," James said in a low, thick voice. Lily put a hand on his shoulder, but it just seemed to serve as a reminder to him that he wasn't alone, and he started. "I've got to go see what the other three are up to," he said, slightly hoarsely, and walked out the portrait hole. He didn't come back till the next morning, and Lily just didn't know what to say to him, or if she should say anything at all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thanks to the wonderful Silverspinner who gave some great tips. Hope this chapter is up to the mark!**

After that one night sleeping in his old dormitory with the rest of the Marauders, James had decided against a repeat, no matter how awkward things got with Evans. The 'Head quarters' as Remus called them (the pun made him cringe; having Sirius around made puns seem more cringe-worthy than they already were) afforded him the privacy he craved at present; despite his initial reluctance to be alone, he found the Marauders' constant scrutiny stifling. That night he had had his usual nightmare and had cried out in his sleep, apparently loudly and disturbingly enough to wake up most of the dormitory, even Sirius, who could snore right through a Banshee wailing. Moony had shaken him awake and handed him a glass of water, while Sirius clasped his shoulder and Peter looked at him with wide, startled eyes. He had never wanted more to run as far away as he could, as far as he needed to go to run away from himself.

Evans had pushed James and he had blurted out more than he was comfortable with sharing, but their little heart-to-heart seemed to have scared her off, and he was thankful for that. He didn't want her inside his head, and he'd brushed up his charms theory enough to cast an Imperturbable Charm on the door of his room. Nightmares or not, he hated anyone, especially the girl he fancied, seeing him so vulnerable.

In fact, James went for almost three whole days without mumbling more than a pardon me to Evans before she came marching up to him. He gulped in reflex, stepping away, before catching himself at seeing Evans's amusement at his actions.

Evans spoke in a brisk business-like manner, "We've got a meeting scheduled today at five, in the Prefrects' meeting room off the side of the library. I'm sure you know where to find it. Be there on time, Potter, you still have to introduce yourself to the prefects." James snorted at this, and she continued, "Yes, I know you're the uncrowned king of the castle, quite well-known, but the thing is, Potter, they only know you as a trouble-maker. You're going to have to convince them you're not just going to horse around and let everyone get away with, dare I say, _marauding. _I can't do this on my own, especially given the erm…_hostile_ reactions of the Slytherin prefects on the Hogwarts Express."

James frowned at that last sentence, before putting on his old smirk and saying, "Why Evans, are you saying that you _need_ me? I seem to remember you saying something along the lines of not being a damsel-in-distress waiting for me to come save you like a knight in shining armor. Oh how times change, dear damsel."

Evans huffed a bit before saying, "People listen to you, Potter. Make sure you have something worthwhile to say at the meeting." And with that, she turned to walk off, nose high in the air as usual.

James called out, "Wait, Evans! What am I supposed to say at the meeting?"

At that, Evans turned around, gave him a smirk of her own, and said, "Figure it out, dear damsel. Fraid you can't always have a knight doing all the brainwork for you."

James grinned for what seemed like the first time in ages, and sped off to the Gryffindor common room, where he caught hold of Remus and dragged him away from the other two. Not too fazed by the manhandling, Remus asked, "Need something, Prongs?"

"How do you feel about being my knight in shining armor, Moony?"

* * *

><p>To Lily's great surprise, Potter had made it on time to the meeting. In fact, he was a whole two minutes early, and didn't seem to be hiding dungbombs in his robes.<p>

"So, Evans, is it just the patrol schedules we're supposed to be discussing, or is there something else?" Potter said.

"Well, patrol schedules are first priority, but we also have to say _something_ about house unity. I was hoping you could do the latter," Lily said, a challenge in her voice.

"I'll have you know, Evans, that I wouldn't have it any other way," James replied without skipping a beat.

Lily gave him a look and said, "I hope your idea of a speech on house unity isn't along the lines of 'Oy, Snakes, get your slimy asses out of this castle, slink away now, pip pip.'"

"Evans, my dear damsel, have a little faith in your knight. And just so you know, my voice is nowhere near as girly and high-pitched as that," Potter grumbled, as the prefects started coming in and sat down at the table.

"Right, here goes," Lily muttered under her breath, and cleared her throat.

"Good evening, everyone, I hope your term is off to a good start. No trouble already, I hope?"

No one replied, and Lily took it that any back to school parties had been relatively low-key.

"Alright, then, here are your patrol schedules. As usual, you will be patrolling in pairs with the prefect counterpart of your house; each pair will have to patrol twice a week for around an hour, or at least, as long as it takes to make sure there's nothing wrong on your assigned three floors. Please remember that anyone caught outside their common room after curfew has to be reported, no matter what house, to myself, Potter, or the Head of the House. The student should be informed that ten points will be taken from his or house. Potter and I will be patrolling five times a week, and as I'm sure you realize, we'll have our hands full, and don't need any of you to slack off and give us further hassle. Any questions?"

Met once more with silence, Lily finished up her part of the meeting, "Right, well, Potter here, your Head Boy, has something to say to you before we wind up."

Potter stood up.

"You all know who I am, so I won't bother to introduce myself. You all also know that I am _not_ the conventional Head Boy candidate, but I'd like to remind you that there's no better way of knowing all the rules of this place by heart than by breaking them all, several times over, in fact. Not that I recommend any of you try it, or at least, if you do, don't get caught. I don't care if you take me seriously in Head Boy capacity, but I assure you I _am_ serious about this. Er, not the Sirius Black kind of serious, the other kind.

But that's not all I have to say. Those of you who read _The Prophet _regularly know what's going on in the wizarding world. You know of the rising feuds between extremists and blood purity propagandists, and the rest who just want peace and harmony. I want it made very clear that Hogwarts has always been and always will be home to anyone with magical talent, no matter what their heritage. And no one in this castle will get away with making anyone feel as if they don't belong here.

Professor Dumbledore has asked us to promote house unity this year, but I don't think that will be possible unless we're all agreed on this."

At that, all hell broke loose.

Regulus Black, the new fifth year prefect for Slytherin stood up haughtily and said, "Potter, you might be complacent about your blood-traitor status, but don't expect the rest of us to stoop to your level and consort with mudbloods." Here he glared pointedly at Lily.

"Yes, Potter," Avery growled, "no matter how…attractive they may be," and he licked his lips

James lost it. All thoughts of Head Boyship went flying out of his head as he caught Avery by the neck and hissed, "Say that again, Avery."

Avery slowly turned purple before Lily screamed "Relashio!" and Regulus drew his own wand, slicing a deep gash into James's chest, which spurted forth a sizeable amount of blood. As James turned around to hex Regulus into the Dark Ages, Lily cast a shield charm that pushed the two of them back.

Livid, Lily almost screeched the words, "TWENTY POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN, AND TEN FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Breathing heavily, she lowered her voice and said, "Meeting's over." With that, she slumped in her chair and laid her head down.

"Lily?" James asked, laying a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at his touch and he backed away. "Lily, I…"

"Not here, Potter," she snarled. "We are going to go back to the Head rooms, and discuss exactly what went wrong here, and why."

* * *

><p>Back in their common room, James steeled himself for the shouting match to come. Predictably, the moment the portrait swung shut behind her, Evans had at him.<p>

"_What were you thinking, Potter?_ Oh, I forgot, you _don't _think, you never do. Why on earth did you think it would be a good idea to _strangle a prefect _at your first meeting as HEAD BOY? You had all of us convinced you turned a new leaf and morphed into someone people looked up to, and Merlin, did you prove us wrong."

"Evans, _did you not see the way Avery was looking at you?_ If you expect me to just sit there and let them spout bullshit like that, let them get away with the crap they give you…"

"YES, I expect you to just sit there, and let ME handle it! We've been over this, a hundred times over, I can take care of myself, and I don't need a prat like you defending me! Especially not a prat who's Head Boy and can't control his temper!"

"Evans...I know you can take care of yourself…I just…I can't stand it when they say shite like that, not to you…not to anybody, but especially not to you."

Lily calmed down at that a little bit, and said, "Take your shirt off."

James blinked. "Er, what?" and then he grinned, "Oh Evans, you feisty little minx."

Lily growled, actually growled, and said, "You're bleeding."

"Oh." James looked down and saw that the cut Regulus had given him was indeed dyeing his white shirt red. He took off his shirt.

Lily walked up to him and started muttering healing charms, getting the skin to stitch itself back up, and cleaned the wound. As she worked, she said quietly, "Potter, I know you mean well. That was quite a speech you made. But you can't keep resorting to violence and dueling each time someone says something like that. It only makes things worse."

James hissed a bit as the cut stung, and said, "You were right. Should have just called the slimy little bastards out on their snake tactics. Don't know why Dumbledore even allows the whole Slytherin House to _exist._"

"You remember what he said about everything not being as black and white as that? I think he's right. The Sixth Year Prefect, Emerson didn't do anything, and Parkinson may have been cheering Avery on, but Burke and Reilly just stared at their nails."

"Yeah, Evans, but they weren't exactly jumping to your defense either. I'm sure they don't give a damn about blood equality, as long as they don't get their hands dirty, they're happy."

Lily just sighed. "I wish things weren't so complicated. I think I'm going to turn in for the night. Goodnight, Potter."

James stared at her. It was only six thirty. She must have been more upset about the Slytherin taunts than she let on, he mused.

* * *

><p>An hour later, James knocked on Lily's door. When she didn't open it, he called out, "I brought you some sandwiches and soup, Evans, if you're hungry. There's a bit of Treacle Tart too."<p>

Lily opened the door a crack after she was sure he had left, and grabbed the tray. The stress had made her stomach rumble with hunger after a while. She wondered how Potter knew Treacle Tart was her favorite.


	7. Chapter 7

Friday morning found James resignedly hanging up the formal Quidditch try-outs announcement in the Gryffindor common room. Every year he insisted on try-outs for every position on the team, regardless of the existing team members from the prior year's team, and he loathed putting himself through the ordeal. But Quidditch was serious business, and the team had to be the best it could possibly be—especially this year, given that it was his last. Gryffindor had been on a two year winning streak (which James smugly attributed to his captaincy since fifth year), and he was quite agreeable to the idea of scoring a hat trick. Be that as it may, the afternoon would still prove to be the usual cacophony of the inevitable incompetent/ineligible majority, belligerent self-important pricks and the woefully small number of genuinely skilled players.

On his way to breakfast, James was accosted by the Head Girl calling his name. As he waited for Lily to catch up to him, he inwardly reflected that this was becoming quite a normal occurrence, as were the civil conversations that followed. He allowed himself a few seconds of satisfaction before his Remus-voice sternly told him to get a grip and not get away with himself. In any case, he liked said Head Girl's company too much to jeopardize their tenuous friendship, or at least cease-fire, by untoward propositions.

"Hullo, Evans," James said, grinning.

"Don't you look chipper this morning, Potter. Should I duck for cover? Please tell me you haven't rigged the Great Hall in any way...last Hallowe'en was bad enough…" Lily groused.

"Relax Evans, the Great Hall is safe this morning, but you have to admit that prank was incredible. You can't seriously tell me seeing the Slytherins turn pink and get rained on by green goop and baby snakes wasn't the slightest bit amusing."

"It's a lot less amusing when you're the one who gets stuck cleaning up the Great Hall after the ruckus that ensued."

"'Ensued?' Who uses words like that while talking, Evans? And anyway, you're a witch; it couldn't have taken more than a few Vanishing spells…"

"Potter, you may be a trump at Transfiguration and may have mastered Vanishing spells before Sixth Year, but _I _on the other hand had no idea how to do them."

"Transfiguration Trump. I like it. I think I might add it to my title as Head Marauder."

"Head _Boy_ you mean."

"Eh, semantics. And to answer your question, Quidditch tryouts are this afternoon. Haven't been out to fly in ages."

"If you mean two days by 'ages.'"

"Like I said, semantics. So, are you going to come watch?"

"I'll pass, thanks," Lily replied wryly, quelling a suspicious urge to watch the tryouts—something she had never done in all her time at Hogwarts.

* * *

><p>Later on that day, as Lily was making her way back to the Head Rooms, someone snatched her by the elbow and pulled her through a tapestry into a broom closet. She let out a squeak of surprise that threatened to grow into a scream when her kidnapper lit a torch and flooded the small area with light.<p>

It was Sirius Black. Lily blinked, and then rubbing her elbow, she narrowed her eyes menacingly.

"Black! What on earth are you trying to do?" She squawked, and tried to push her way past him to the door. He stood firm. "Let me out, Black," Lily growled, now thoroughly rankled.

"Evans." Black said, and then stopped. He studied Lily for a few moments, making her fidget self-consciously, and then ran his hand through his hair. Lily was struck by the similarity to Potter's gesture, and looked at him curiously.

"Look, Evans, I need to talk to you about something. Hear me out," Black grounded out.

"I'm listening," Lily said, curiosity winning over her irritation.

"James's parents died this summer," Black said in a rush, raising his hand to wave away anything Lily might say in reply. "I know you don't care much for him, but you were way out of line on the train. Yes, yes, I know you didn't know, Remus told me, but you have to understand, James _lost his parents_. _Both _of them. I'm not much of a family person myself, but if my parents were anything like James's, I'd be as devastated as he is about their death. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Potter…they meant more to me than my own parents ever did, they did more for me than my family did, probably loved me more than…but that's neither here nor there. The thing is, I know he's not okay. He's not exactly open about it, and he hates me or the others for noticing, but I doubt he's gotten a decent night's sleep since…since it happened. _And he won't let us help him._" Black wringed his hands with frustration before thrusting them deep in his pocket, and continued, more hesitantly than ever, "He's been avoiding us, in fact. Spends all his time locked up in that dratted room of his. Or with _you_, even though you've been nothing but a cold-hearted shrew."

Lily huffed in indignation, and before Black could stop her, she broke out into a mini-tirade, "How _dare _you Black! First you drag me through a tapestry into a _broom closet, demanding _to speak with me, and then when I give you the benefit of doubt, you _insult _me! I've heard enough, thank you." She pulled out her wand, slightly surprised that she hadn't thought of using it earlier, and stuck it threateningly in Black's face. "Out of my way, Black. And I'll have you know that I apologized to Potter for what I said on the train, and that I haven't spent every moment goading him about his parents' death. He even talked to me about them once, and if you ask me, he looks a lot happier than he did on the train. So bugger off, and quit moaning about how much you miss your best friend."

Leaving Black gaping behind her, undoubtedly mouthing soundless protests that that hadn't been the reason why he'd come to her, Lily strode off. Really, Black's concern for Potter was touching, and for a moment or two she had almost appreciated him as a human being, but being called a "cold-hearted shrew" tends to deaden one's sympathy for the name-caller.

* * *

><p>Lily hadn't been watching where she was going, letting her feet lead the way, so when she took in her surroundings, she was astonished to see that she had ended up near the Quidditch pitch of all places. <em>Oh well, <em>she mused, _it's nice out, might as well read in the sun for a while. _The noise from the Quidditch pitch, however, made it hard to concentrate, and Lily gave up and went over to the stands—just to make sure things didn't get out of hand, she told herself.

Once on the stands, though, Lily couldn't help but watch interestedly first the Beaters (her hand pressed over her mouth to stop herself from screaming each time a Bludger got too close to a player), then the Seekers (most of whom seemed hopelessly inept, except for the notable exception of Clara Bell, who had been reserve seeker for last year's team), the Keepers (whose dives thoroughly impressed Lily, despite the hilarious antics of one player, who determinedly dived in the direction exactly opposite to the incoming Quaffle), and finally the Chasers, who were hands-down the most interesting players. Lily had to admit Potter did a fine job of handling the try-outs, despite a few grumblers leaving with antlers sprouting from their heads, but once he took to the air, he was impossible not to watch. He had a certain grace and agility about him that made weaving in and out through the air seem effortless. Lily couldn't help but feel a familiar feeling of envy rise in her again. He really did have everything anyone could possibly want…except, of course, his family. Looking at him, Lily wondered if he wouldn't give it all up just to have his parents back.

* * *

><p>Bruised and sore all over, his voice almost completely gone, James trudged down to the Great Hall, considering the players he'd just chosen. Bell was fairly impressive, as was Burdock, the burly fifth year who had tried out as Keeper, and Sirius of course was as ruthless with his Beater's bat as ever, though whether he'd manage to work with Kramer was still in question…Spinnet he worked well with, but Gwenog Jones, the newest Chaser, was young and temperamental…still, she was the best of the lot…and with that last thought, he walked headlong into Lily and knocked her over.<p>

"Potter!" Lily gasped, "You're crushing me!"

James hurriedly picked himself up off the ground, trying not to dwell too long on how he had been _lying on top_ _of_ Lily Evans, and gave Lily a hand.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going…" He said, shamefaced.

"Obviously not, Potter," Lily replied, brushing mud off of her robes.

"Here, let me help you," James muttered, casting a quick _Tergeo_ to clean up her robes.

"Thanks," Lily said, looking surprisingly calm. James was still steeling himself for the reprimand that was surely coming his way.

When she didn't say anything for a minute or so, he asked, "So what were you doing out here?"

"Oh, I was reading under a tree until the noise from the Quidditch pitch made it impossible to concentrate…decided to drop by and watch the try-outs after all. It is my last year here, so I wouldn't have gotten another chance to see what all the fuss is about," Lily replied.

"And?" James asked.

"And what?"

"Is it worth the fuss?"

"I'll let you know after our first match, Potter," Lily said, smiling, "We better win."

"We will." James said, flashing his old cocky grin at her.

"Watch the head, Potter, I can see it swelling," Lily said, laughing in spite of herself, and James joined in.

Her laughter really was infectious, he thought to himself.

He wasn't so bad, Lily thought to herself.

And with that, the two of them walked into the Great Hall together.

**Author's Note: Are they becoming too close too fast? I feel as if I've locked the two of them into their own private universe, to the exclusion of everyone else at Hogwarts...I'll try and get in interactions between some of the other characters in the next few chapters. Thanks for reading!**


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